It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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