I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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