I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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