dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
