Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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