hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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