It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
