Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize