I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
