i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
