You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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