I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
tell me about the eggs
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
