dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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