I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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