Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
