So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
