NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
