Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
