Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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