I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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