Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
