You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Holy shit dude........stairs
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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