Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I checked into jail on foursquare
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
