Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
