Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
