Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
