Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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