Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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