brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
