You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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