we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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