Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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