Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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