please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize