I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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