wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize