I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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