why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
