your thong is hanging out like whoa
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize