so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
