How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't deserve a penis
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
