Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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