What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
