So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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