this beer tastes like vomit already
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
