is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
