I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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