Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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