there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
