He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
