Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
