Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
