Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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