I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
