I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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