Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize