Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
