these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
