Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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