That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
