My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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