you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
