the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
