I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Randomize